Gareth Jones

I don’t know if this is the most bewildering or confusing thing that’s ever happened to me, but for some reason, it’s the first one that came to mind and really made me laugh all over again.

About two decades ago, I was in my early twenties and taking a drawing class at a local art students’ league, in San Juan, Puerto Rico. The topic of the drawing class was the human figure, and all models, both male and female, were in the nude. I would usually set up my easel and drawing pad up front in the classroom, very close to where the models would pose.

About four or five weeks into this Saturday class, a male model contorts himself into his first pose of the day. After a long while drawing, I notice the male model seemed to be miming with his mouth at me the word “hola,” which is Spanish for “hello.” For a moment I thought I had imagined the whole thing… I mean I’m a guy and this muscular, naked dude seems to be saying “hi” to me with his mouth. I told myself “nah” and dismissed it. That would have been too weird. Yet, around a minute later, I see the big, naked model once more seeming to say “hola” to me, right in front of this silent classroom, filled with other students, who were all looking more or less in my direction. I opened my eyes wide and gulped with embarrassment. Nope, I hadn’t imagine this.

He seemed insistent and once more whispered an “hola” to me. So I finally gestured with my freaked-out face, letting him know I didn’t quite understand what he was trying to tell me. That’s when he said in a normal volume: “hora?” as in “what hour or what time is it?” I sighed in relief and replied back: “…ohhhhh!, ‘the time,’ yes, it’s just past noon time.”

I felt so incredibly stupid I just started to crack up. I couldn’t help myself but to try unsuccessfully to hold back my laughter for the rest of the period. I could hardly look at the guy without obviously laughing, even if I tried to hide my face behind the drawing pad. At one time he gave me a very, very nasty look, as if he thought I was making fun of him and I feared he was about to stand up and beat the hell out of me any minute now. Then suddenly, I noticed he started smiling and then actually laughing, while trying to maintain in his pose… kind of letting me know he had understood exactly what had happened. At least he took it like a good sport.

To this day, I still crack up at this moment of major confusion. I thought I was being filmed as part of a prank with a hidden camera. Oh well, I guess you had to be there to really feel how surreal this moment was! That’s it.